it’s a lonely road

i used to have a lot of friends when i was younger, we would chat for hours on different topics, when i look back at it, although meaningless conversations, they held their place in history.

when i started taking life seriously, no time for baseless chitchat, i even grew weary of it, i morphed into a straightforward person, only engaging in conversations i deemed important.

as i started to speak less, i started to have less friends.

i know a lot of people but i don’t think i have up to 5 close friends.

now that i ponder on it, we were never really close friends, the endless chitchat—we never really discussed the important things, just topics that would take our mind off reality.

like i said on my birthday episode, you are alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely, and it’s true.

ample time to do important things, i really do find solace in my work these days, if not for that i would, in-fact, become lonely.

but why does this all matter, if i had a million friends, what would we discuss about?

i do enjoy journeys i forego with some friends once in a while, but what are we really doing here?

what’s the point of this life? if you have a dream and a vision, what are you supposed to do with them?

are we to pursue pleasurable experiences or to explore the limits of pain?

is life a joke or something to be taken seriously?

does this all matter in the end?

we mostly do care about only ourselves, in reality nobody cares about you.

does that change the dynamics of existing?

i don’t know, i really don’t.