Live now, die later

I’m an ambivert, and I’m sure many of you reading this might relate to what I’m saying.

I never really thought about my shyness until I had to confront it recently.

I was asked the question on the spot, “Are you shy?” And like every other person, I would lie to myself and I replied “No, of course not!” But I took a seat and asked myself the question again, am I actually shy? Now this question and what followed after it has defined my life up to this moment, like I said, ask the important questions.

I stared into myself and said the truth, came to the conclusion that I was shy, now I didn’t sulk about it but carried the idea in my head that I could work on it.

Now fast forward a few months and I’m tasked to do something a shy person would consider suicide, cold approach people.

I found it very hard to do it, but there were people around me and it made it so much easier.

To the point where I subconsciously call myself out if I’m being shy, what I noticed was that if you want to approach someone, I would think about it so much to the extent that I would find a reason not to approach the person.

So I made a rule that if I see someone and I want to approach the person I would make the decision in less than 3 seconds, do it or let it go.

Now I can say it that this week has been the most introspective week of my entire conscious life because of what I learned and because of what I felt.

There are certain things you feel when you come to a realization so beautiful that you can’t express with words, it just can’t be explained but you’ll know when you feel it.

I haven’t written in about 4 days, because to write pieces so inspiring like this you have to be completely sober and introspective, I came across this song “Allowed to be happy by Gustavo Santaolalla” and this song touches your soul right in the core, I played the song on repeat throughout the course of writing this piece and I can tell you that I shed a tear everytime I repeat it.

I learned from a friend that contacts are important and you need to socialize, you need to leave your comfort zone.

You need to experience what the world has to offer.

When I was socializing and talking to people, hanging with strangers that have become friends, I was truly happy, I asked myself, could I live life like this everyday? And I came to the conclusion that I could, and you could too.

Talk to that friend, forgive them, savor the moment, appreciate human creativity, observe the world, take a deep breath, stare into your soul, and your soul would whisper back to you…

Live now, die later.

These are my thoughts, I hope they resonate with you.