what’s your idea of love?

do you believe in love? for a while, romance movies or books irked me, mainly because of their unrealistic portrayal of love.

i finally finished the last season of His Dark Materials, lovely series.

what sold me in this one was the realism and i’ll catch you up to speed on what i mean.

firstly, your lover is your friend, if you jumped the “good friends” stage then you’re going to look for that friendship elsewhere and not in your partner.

secondly, experience is what builds the relationship, the suffering and pain, the joy and brightness, being in different scenarios with that person, going through it with them.

thirdly, it’s not about what you can receive from that person, it’s what you can give.

focus on yourself, think about all the things you can improve within yourself for your current partner or your future one.

not only does it improve you as a suitable person but it also attracts real people.

lastly, all good things must come to an end. happiness forever and ever is a myth, maybe in the afterlife it’s true, but here it’s a fallacy.

“the greatest love is not the one you’re willing to die for but the one you’re willing to live for.”

sacrifices must be made, the journey and destination are both important but it’s the journey that you would make the most importance of. it’s what shapes you.

you must be open to the experiences.

when i finished the last episode, it dawned on me. so this is it, i told myself. this is the meaning of all this intricacies, it was the destination i’ve been meaning to reach for the past year, to understand what it all meant.

i passed through the 5 stages of grief for that moment, the journey was important but the destination, the resolution i came to was also equally important.

ladies can move on while entering a new relationship, for guys, it’s quite different, it’s an introspective process if you’re doing it healthy, if you’re processing that grief, it’s going to manifest in ugly ways.

hating the opposite gender, getting irked by the idea of love, trust me, i’ve been there, i’ve done that.

but when you rise above the hatred, you see the real understanding.

now my healing process is now complete.

i’ve met people that are afraid to commit because the fear of being hurt, fear of pain? pain would come regardless.

pain is required for growth, to abstain from pain is to forfeit growth.

i can now understand that it’s not what the other person “brings to the table,” but what i offer to that person.

it’s a beautiful process.

the reason why i’m so philosophical is because i make meaning of everything, i see between the lines, dissecting intricacies and patterns.

welcome the experience and remember, it’s not about what you receive, it’s about what you give.